Reflection On Times's Gone By
by FlyingFree910
Summary: A short one-shot. Jonny has some quiet time of reflection regarding Jac, but can the afterlife influence reality .


_**This is a one shot that came to me after watching Tuesdays Holby.**_  
_**Enjoy reading.**_

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You never realize the impact that someone has in your life until they are gone. A footprint on the sand, suddenly blown away like they were never there. But they were, their actions, their ways woven into your soul and secured in your mind for remembrance. Remember who they are and what they stood for. Tara was no different; her death was a shock to me and to the whole hospital. How can someone go from being married to being pronounced dead within 24 hours? Its time like this when you think of how precious life is, you have to make the most of it and grasp everything that you cherish and hold it close. One second they may be there but gone in a blink of an eye.

That's why I have made a decision to forgive and forget. Forget about all the mistakes, forget about all the lies and look to the future because why live in the past. The past may shape who you are but your future is shaped by the present. Telling the truth is always the hardest, I mean look at Tara. How long had she been at the hospital before she told us about the tumour? Some secrets are chosen to remain silent for the bearer doesn't want the sympathy and the knowledge that those around you will treat you differently. I have chosen to forgive and I don't regret it. I would rather live with the lies instead of a future alone without the woman that I love.

I am currently lying on my side propped up on my elbow watching the eye of beauty. It's hard to believe but I have never had the privilege to do this, watch her sleep, and listen to her breathing. She has always woken up before me and I see why now. She was scared, if she was asleep in my arms and I was awake I saw the real her. The vulnerable side, emotions cannot be hidden in the dreamless state. But here she is trusting me with her heart and I am going to protect it with all the power I possess. She is a glorious sight, so beautiful that I cannot believe that I have her here again in my bed but it's different.

_I found her in her office looking out of the window into the darkness, arms wrapped around herself. I closed the door and encased us in a shroud of sadness and waited. _  
_"Why are the good always taken? She hasn't caused no harm to the world and all she wanted to do was help people like all of us want to do."_  
_"Jac we can't change what has happened but we all know that she will be doing what she wanted, saving lives. Those that need an organ will now be getting them; they can have a future thanks to the brave wee girl."_  
_"I know but she was a bright girl, she would have gone far"_  
_"I know Jac, I know". I then walked over to where she was standing and wrapped my arms around her from behind. She didn't pull away but lent backwards into my embrace. _  
_"I'm tired Jonny, so tired of all of this. She was young with a full life ahead of her. A new husband and so many prospects but here I am throwing mine away. You. And I can't...I don't..."_  
_"Ssssssshhhhhhhhhh. Don't worry, we will go one step at a time. Okay, one step at a time." I felt her nod and knew we would get though anything._

I look back at Jac and a small smile graces my face, I am never letting her go again. She mumbles in her sleep, and stretches, making groaning noises so uncharacteristic of her. My smile turns into a full blown grin when her eyes pop open.  
"What the hell are you staring at?"  
"Just admiring the view".  
"Well don't".  
"That's not what you were saying last night"  
"Shut up you idiot". I grin and she smiles back. I lean over and give her a quick kiss.  
"We have work."  
"I know but I am comfy, can't a man have a little rest." I pull her into my arms and she settles quickly onto my chest. I feel his kiss just over my heart.  
"I love you Jonny".  
"Good because I love you too". Tara Lo was a fantastic person to have graced this world and Darwin. Even in the afterlife she is looking over us all doing what she did best, fixing those in need.

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_**Thanks for reading and please review.**_  
_**Until next time guys...**_


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